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Which Way Do I Go Now?

Writer's picture: Joseph MachneyJoseph Machney

Joseph Machney

 

  Learning through personal experience alongside sessions with clients, the embodied masculine in the physical form is a hollow representation of what a divine man is and yet within that internal void is either a desire for more or a resignation to what is. As the goal of life is growth, how deep is one willing to go to grow? Is there satisfaction in going with the status quo? What are we becoming when who we are is a shadow or a continuation of how things were which no longer fits into this changing reality?

 

The patterns of the mind and the emotions are a continuation of what was from before and yet for me there is a sense of dissatisfaction in holding this to be reality, my truth. Norms and cultural imprinting in the western world, albeit not everywhere, are no longer satisfying and through this awareness a door opens to an unknown world where there are no longer roads to follow. So the question is, which way do I go now?

 

How does one engage with a reality that has produced anti-anything? Where do harsh judgements come from when the truth that enables one to let go and let be is always available? How does one reach these conclusions? Perhaps it is the groupthink that creates a vulnerability to programming that is outside of who we are as a masculine expression? I say this, not to single out the males, but to awaken the truth that we are both masculine and feminine internally and this out of balance with the world is a reflection of being out of balance with oneself. But how can one have balance when the seeds of balance are such poisonous bulbs, placed within us perhaps many generations ago? A past ancestor that couldn’t see the light during his or her lifetime. Are they asking you to see what they could not? “Please don’t make the same mistake that I did. It wasn’t worth the lost time. All it brought me was pain.”

 

Are we able to hear their voices that although are not us, have influenced us to the degree that poses the question, who are we truly? Who are we if our ancestral and generational history has not been resolved? Where is our independence? Can we be free from these echoes from our collective past? Is it worth our time in trying to understand ourselves to this degree? Is this my life?

 

Taking this a step further, how does all of this influence the collective masculine or feminine expression?

 

In order to fit into a society, we need to play roles and within these roles there is a lack of authenticity. We are all actors in each other’s plays that have often been influenced by popular culture, tradition or one’s upbringing. What is real when all we play are roles in one another’s lives? Is there a true heart connection? Is this what we are lacking?

 

How can one be real when our perception of reality is localized through our limited mental lense? The emotional body and how emotional intelligence has taken on more meaning and value in society over the past hundred years I feel is an indication that there is an awakening happening on the planet. A step in the right direction. However, the control that the masculine has had has not only enslaved the planet with its grip, but it has enslaved the masculine as well.

 

This enslaved masculine has portrayed a false archetype that has created a relationship dynamic both internal within himself and externally within relationship to others, more specifically to partners or mates. That hollowness is often felt and is more so at this time than ever, a longing for something more, something deeper. Does this also play out within ourselves as well? If the imbalance is an incomplete masculine and we are both masculine and feminine no matter our outward gender expression than what is mirrored within the collective is sourced from inside of us. We create our own reality from the experiences that we are given.

 

The suppression of the feminine expression as it was divinely meant to be throughout the centuries has equally held this entanglement. It is due to the absence of both the divine masculine and divine feminine that has created this perpetuating dynamic and relationship. So, again I ask as a deeper self-reflection, where do I go from here?

 

Unlearning what we have been taught and shown can unwind our tightly woven reality. The rigidness that people hold on to in order to have some sort of identity and sense of self redirects the question’s position from ‘who am I to others’ inwardly into ‘who am I to myself’? Do I love myself as I am without being in relationship to the roles I play with others? Can I feed myself first so that I know what truly nourishes me, holistically and spiritually? In this new disposition, this sense of self, how can I be of service to others?

 

While in service to others, I am in service to self. What narrative stirs within when these words are spoken? Does wanting from others have a threshold? If one can see oneself as a vessel for Christ Consciousness than all we are is a vehicle for this expression. If the ego can be relegated to being an instrument which animates this expression than our roles as men and women become redefined without the overcoats of tradition, society, academia, and the like rearranging us to fit their outlook, their agenda.

 

In this realignment, doors that were locked or invisible to us become apparent and open at the exact right moment. What awaits us as we step into the light of the balanced divine masculine and divine feminine? This is where I am aiming for, on my spiritual journey.



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