People come and people go in my life and those who leave an impression, be it negative or positive, did so for a reason. The exchange happens and being highly empathic, I am left with their energy for a time. The interaction is replayed in my mind and body as if it had just happened again. It has not though and this is where the program is played out. Rumination begins and if left unchecked, the story continues. What was a five minute conversation continues for an hour. Could of, should of, and would of. None of it matters any longer, but it takes up my precious time. How often has this happened to me?
I wish I could say a handful of times, but in truth, it would be more accurate to say a handful of lives. Why does this happen to me? Without boundaries and borders, an empath takes things too personally and too deeply. Why? Why does it matter so much? The earth is conscious and when she bleeds, it is felt. She is asking us to feel her life. We are empaths because we have chosen to understand the deeper level and meaning, to make a connection where others cannot, or perhaps choose not to.
People are not as they appear and their harsh interactions with you are a reflection of the pain that is being felt in the unconscious realms of the human psyche. This psyche is connected to everything and knows everything, The sensitivity is a gift and ruminating on past interactions is a gift wasted. This recognition is a voice asking you to let go and stay focused, centered and embodied.
The people are gone, the conversation has past.... the moment is over. Like a snapshot in a photo album, it cannot be altered, only observed as a memory. It's so sticky though! How do you train yourself to selectively feel? Shield! Boundaries! Awareness! Self-love is recognizing that your energy is so very precious. You have come here to heal the planet that is dearly grateful that you are here to feel what she is going through. It is humbling and guides my focus.
Keen self-awareness asks of the people I interact with, what do they want from me? This is not paranoia, only energy discernment and boundaries. How does what is happening right now feel to me? Do I feel drained or uplifted? Am I seen as an equal here? Is there respect? Am I giving my power away? At what cost? Have I spent a part of me and gotten nothing in return? How do I feel now that they have left me?
To be a martyr is no better than to be a saint. What is the payoff? The currency is worthless in the long run. Like time spent, it cannot be regained. The false feeling of getting attention or love from another is like filling a bottomless cup. The trap, the entanglement, slowly they block off the light that is trying to come through you. The victim-victimizer game surfaces and another level of interaction with them begins, only they're no longer in front of you.
The light lives in the moment. Each interaction, a chance to shine your light through you and give the shadows less time on the stage of the planet. Running through what has happened again and again, has no influence on the event. It is over and done. My energy is better focused on what is. This is where I can be centered, grounded, and in touch with what is right in front of me. Moving forward in my journey by staying still.